Updated: Sep 16, 2021
Ah yes, the Garden of Eden, the Roman baths, Vaudeville burlesque shows, Vegas, the Doll House and other such establishments, certain classical statuary and paintings, are all forms or versions of de-clothed states. Nothing anywhere, with the possible exception of perhaps war, famine, terrorism, religion, politics, or global economic crisis, quite emphatically stirs up the fires of a mix of emotions as does gallivanting around without your top and drawers on.
Some folks find being in the buff offensive thumping their Bibles or some such other holy book (yes I know, there are a ton of religious types and a ton of books, and “no” I’m not against religion), others worship it with nudist camps or nude beaches, and still others find it a unique curiosity. We have laws governing its presence and even in some cases, lack thereof. We have committees who get paid to judge whether something is or ain’t vile and O-FENSIVE, and even a few out in Hollywood earn a living wage (and then some!) deciding whether or not little Johnny who is in high school can get in to see the latest Terminator flick due to the dreaded nudity or partial nudity label with the motion picture rating system.
With all of that said, the female form is surely the most beautiful thing on earth. I wrote a line in a poem once that is a commentary on this 9th Wonder of the World:
“At least we can be sensual, at least we have that…
A black cat, a nude woman, reclining sideways in a bed, looking
Like a cello…”
Sonnets have been written, a myriad of poetry, movies have been made, notes scribbled on bar napkins, books, clothing, ball caps, gas station bathroom stalls and most anything else you can think of have been used as devices to immortalize, propagandize, or generally serve as an ode to the female body and shape. Now, many times these can be in reference to certain preferential parts of the feminine form based on the beholder for sure, such as the “derriere” or “tatas” or whatever colorful language some decide to use. Sadly, some of these tributes can fail to mention important attributes such as a decided acumen, specific skills, a genteel demeanor, and the list goes on.
At the very least, maybe the female form can take solace in the fact that it is still highly celebrated, sought after, and thought of for sure by many on a daily basis, a very popular and timeless treasure, with fans young and old. Heck, some even take their appreciation into the most revered of spots, the reading room or “lavatory” as we say, wow.
Interestingly, from an etymological standpoint “naked” always seems to connote lacking something, or being devoid of something “extra” that is missing. For instance chicken wings can be served naked, i.e. missing the breading or sauce. What about “certain phenomena in the atmosphere are not visible to the NAKED eye.” I beg your pardon, usually the eyes are tastefully covered up by an eyelid at least half the time, geez.
Then of course there is the oh so Southern black sheep, red headed stepchild expression we all know and love “nekkid.” Now certainly this one grabs you by the cojones forcefully eh? Certain factions really get the most out of the word, with syllabic good times, emphasizing as “NE-KID” or “NEKK-ID.” Usually if you hear this one uttered you will be in the presence of a bona fide redneck or someone who has spent a considerable time as we say down south “out in the country.”
Then of course there is the expression “butt naked.” Doesn’t the state of being naked include your butt showing? I always found that one kind of ironic and potentially redundant. Why is it necessary to remind us the posterior is also in full view, I think that is showing bias, or at worst prejudice against the other body parts, hey, someone call the Civil Rights folks!
“Nudity” also has its own fair share of exotic imagery that comes to mind when we see it come sauntering down the street, flirtatiously waving and saluting with its “come hither” shenanigans and six-inch stiletto heels. Nudity prances around, strutting, in your face, loud and proud, shouting “here I am, come see me, admire me in all my glory!” Yes, nudity has a very strong ego I imagine, not ashamed to be bold and brazen. Nudity is well balanced, and loves itself, knows where its going and what it stands for, no self-esteem issues there I reckon.
Many times contextually in standard parlance it can sound like something from a med school textbook, “Jane’s diagnosis and pathology state from our testing that she suffers from a terminal case of NUDITY.” Or “Unfortunately Jimmy couldn’t recover from all the NUDITY he was exposed to.” Kinda like a virus or something I suppose.
Frankly all of this can sometimes send mixed signals to the average Joe just trying to get along in life, struggling to tie his shoes some days and pay his bills, much less figure these double entendres out, but it’s awfully funny how he always seems to be cognizant and aware enough to notice a fine young filly scantily clad in a summer dress or short shorts, or just plain naked as a jaybird. I thank my Grandfather for the latter expression, a fine one for sure. At least that needs no translation.